


Maybe It's Time (To Let Me Go)

by gotjjp



Category: JJ Project
Genre: Cute, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22254064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotjjp/pseuds/gotjjp
Summary: What happens when Jinyoung's past meets his present?
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Maybe It's Time (To Let Me Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I've written this some time back, and posted it on twitter. I just wanted to post it over here. I'll slowly post what I've written the past few months over time! Enjoy reading, hope you like it!

[Don’t hold me, ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY) [‘cause I am falling back down ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY)

[And I wouldn’t want to see you hit the ground ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY)

[Little darling, ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY) [you found my heart in the lost and found ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY)

[But the scars, they still follow me around](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igexgum9DSY)

“Hey, aren’t you Jinyoung?” A man walked up to Jinyoung and waved in front of him. 

Jinyoung was startled, never expecting to see this face again after that particular day. Awkwardly, he nodded, “Uh, yeah. Hi, Wonpil ssi.” 

Wonpil laughed at his reaction, seemingly enjoying the surprise on Jinyoung’s face. He looked from Jinyoung to his partner and back to him. “Is this your new boyfriend?” Wonpil suggested as he gestured his hands between them. 

“Yeah, uh,” Jinyoung shook his head a little to clear his head. “Yes, this is Jaebeom, my boyfriend.” He pointed his hand to Jaebeom before pointing it to Wonpil, “Hyung, this is uh, my friend, Wonpil.” Jinyoung introduced the two of them awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable about the unexpected meeting. Jaebeom took Wonpil’s outstretched hand and shook it firmly. Jinyoung shifted his weight from one foot to another while observing the scene, impatiently hoping to leave the place. 

However, Wonpil seemed to have other plans in mind. He shrugged, putting his hands back into his pocket. “Friend? Yeah, I guess we’re friends now. We used to be together actually, Jaebeom ssi. Nice to meet you.” Jaebeom’s eyes grew wider, shocked by the new information. He glanced at Jinyoung, eyes asking for an explanation. Jinyoung looked back, conveying the message that what Wonpil said was true. 

Jaebeom turned back to Wonpil, smiling. “I see. Jinyoung hasn’t mentioned you to me before. Maybe he will sometime later.” 

Jinyoung nervously played with his fingers, disliking where the conversation was heading towards. “I will, Hyung.” His heart beats faster, hoping that Jaebeom would ensure him that it was not that big of a deal. As if he read his mind, Jaebeom looked at him reassuringly and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. 

Wonpil looked at their hands before glancing back up, “I guess you found someone good to you. I’m sincerely happy for you.” At that moment, someone linked her arms with Wonpil’s, gaining his attention. He turned to face her, “oh, Jimin ah. You’re done?” 

She nodded happily, “yes, I am. Thank you for waiting, Oppa.” She then turned her attention to the people in front of her. There was a glint of surprise in her eyes before she covered it up with a sweet smile and waved. “Hello, Jinyoung oppa.” 

Jinyoung internally rolled his eyes, “yeah, hello there. It has been long since I have last seen you.” Jaebeom seemed to sense that something was off as he drew small circles on Jinyoung’s hand with his thumb, effectively soothing him. 

“How are you doing these days?” She asked in a voice so sweet that Jinyoung wanted to throw up.

“I’m doing good, as you can tell,” Jinyoung replied, voice void of emotions.

Sensing the tense atmosphere, Jaebeom said as he tugged at Jinyoung’s hand, “It is nice seeing the two of you, but we have something to attend to. I’m sorry, we’ll see you around.”

“Alright, see you again, Jinyoungie.” Wonpil and Jimin both waved as Jaebeom and Jinyoung walked down the street. 

After a few minutes of strolling in silence, Jaebeom’s hold on Jinyoung’s became tighter. He softly said as they passed by the rows of shops on both sides, “it’s okay even if you don’t tell me what happened. I’m fine with it.”

Usually, their dates consisted of staying at Jaebeom’s place as they watched movies and stayed in for dinner. Jaebeom, contrasting from his physical appearance, was a domestic person. He had a talent for cooking and Jinyoung enjoyed his dishes every time. For Jinyoung, Jaebeom learned the recipe for his favourite meals, always eager to see his reactions.

As he knew that Jaebeom took his words seriously, he used to tease him by commenting negatively on the food. He was then reciprocated by a pout from Jaebeom which he found adorable. Jinyoung ended up apologising every time it happened and peppered Jaebeom with kisses.

However, that day, it was one of the rare days where they were bored of staying in. Hence, they decided to shop at Dongdaemun, where it was popular for its night market. They wanted to spend their time together shopping and having dinner outside.

Their plan fell apart the moment they met Wonpil, someone whom Jinyoung wanted to avoid for as long as possible. He felt guilty for the situation, knowing that it would not have been that awkward if he were to be honest with Jaebeom in the first place. He wanted to break the news about his ex-boyfriend to Jaebeom a few times previously. However, it always ended with him pushing the confession to the back of his mind, not wanting to lose what he had with Jaebeom.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, now what am I going to do or say?_ Jinyoung mentally chided and hit himself.

There was always some insecurity within Jinyoung that the same thing would happen again. Every night, when Jinyoung was sleeping alone in his bed, he always dreamt of the same scene. However, instead of Wonpil, the person who walked away from him at the park was Jaebeom. He was always startled awake, drenched in sweat, with his shirt sticking to his back. After that, he would eventually cry himself to sleep as fear overwhelmed him.

Initially, the fear was not present. He met Jaebeom at a bookstore a year after Wonpil left him. Despite his cold exterior, Jaebeom turned out to be a soft person and they clicked instantly. During the time they spent together, he was constantly listening to Jinyoung, being patient when he did not want to share his emotions and even making sure that he was well taken care of. After a few dates, he finally confessed his feelings for Jinyoung and asked to officially date him.

Jinyoung pondered over it for some time and when he eventually decided that he had moved on from Wonpil, he accepted the confession without any hesitation. To his horror, as the time he spent with Jaebeom increased, fear slowly crept in. Before he could stop it, the fear of losing Jaebeom consumed him.

Six months into their relationship, Jinyoung’s past started to haunt him. He started having nightmares frequently, from once a month to it happening every single day. Every time, the dream ended with Jaebeom pushing his hands away as the distance between them grew wider. Despite being in a relationship with Jaebeom for over a year, he had never mentioned them to him as he was afraid that it would ruin their relationship.

Despite wanting to hold onto Jaebeom as dearly as possible, he did not want his fear to drag him down. He could not help but wonder, “ _Would talking to him about my fear make everything better? I don’t want to cause him trouble and sadness. Maybe if he leaves me, he’ll feel happier and he’ll eventually forget everything about me.”_

Jinyoung was brought back to the present as he felt a tug on his hand. With all the questions and worries in his head, Jinyoung stopped walking and looked at Jaebeom. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something and closed it again when he decided against it. Jaebeom had been patiently waiting for Jinyoung the entire time, looking at him endearingly, despite the uncertainty. 

“Don’t fret over it, Nyoungie. I said it was fine.” Jaebeom offered a soft smile and held Jinyoung’s hand tighter. Maybe he knew what Jinyoung would say next because it seemed as if he was holding onto him for dear life. 

“Maybe... Maybe we should not continue what we have, Hyung,” Jinyoung spoke softly, looking down at his hand in Jaebeom’s. Slowly, he covered Jaebeom’s hand with another to release the hold on his. He clasped his hands together, preparing for what was coming. 

Jaebeom’s eyes grew wider in surprise. He took in a breath of air and lifted Jinyoung’s face with two fingers, staring into his eyes. They were in their own world, voices from the crowd faded into thin air. 

He spoke calmly, “What are you talking about, Jinyoung ah? I like what we have now. I’m happy with you.” He reached out to grab Jinyoung’s hand again. When an unwanted thought popped up in his mind, he loosened his grasp and cautiously asked, “are you... Are you not happy with this?”

Jinyoung shook his head vigorously, “no, of course, I’m happy with you. Is this what you want though? This thing we have?” He used his free hand to gesture between them, nervousness in his eyes. He looked down at their hands once again to avoid Jaebeom’s stare. He then rested his free hand by his side, grasping on his pants until his knuckles turned white. 

The next sentence came as a whisper, so softly that Jaebeom would miss it if he was not listening to it as intently as he did. “Won’t you find someone better than me? What if you realise that I’m not the one you want for life?” 

“I won’t. Definitely not. As I have mentioned, I’m happy with you right now. If you aren’t, then I won’t force you to accept what we have. But I do know that I want you for life, at least for now. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I’ll want to keep you for as long as you allow me to.” Jaebeom said in confidence, causing Jinyoung to snap his head up. Jaebeom’s voice held so much sincerity that the back of his eyes stung from unshed tears. 

Jinyoung blinked a few times, trying to will the tears away. “Won’t you leave me like Wonpil did? The girl he was with, Jimin,” he sniffed, “he left me for her.” He choked out the following words, “he cheated on me with her.” By then, tears streamed down his face. He released his hold on his pants to wipe his eyes with the back of his hands, tears unwilling to stop. 

He remembered the time when his heart was broken into a million pieces. He blamed himself for Wonpil’s departure. He believed that he left because he was not good enough for him, that their love faded because of him and that it was due to the lack of love and care shown towards Wonpil.

“Maybe... Maybe you will find someone else like he did. Someone who deserves you, someone who can love you more than I do and someone who can treat you better than I do. Maybe you should let me go because I don’t want to hold you down.” He continued in a rush, stumbling on his words a few times as he hiccuped. 

Just vocalising his thoughts made him afraid as he would never want to lose Jaebeom or to go through the same heartbreak again. Even though he did not mention it openly, he had come to love Jaebeom so much. He loved spending time with him as Jaebeom accepted all of him and allowed him to be himself. Over time, his closed heart opened for Jaebeom and he consumed his entire mind. Jinyoung could not stop thinking about him and was always looking forward to their dates. Jinyoung felt happy simply by being next to him and looking at him.

“I’m not him, am I? How do you know that I want what he wants? I want you, he doesn’t. Even though it was a sad event for you, I am glad that he left you.” He grinned sheepishly, “Otherwise, I could never meet someone as perfect as you. I’ll hold on to you for as long as we’re alive. Leave him behind you. He’s your past whereas I’m your present and your future. I promise to help you heal your scars, take as much time as you need. I just want you to know that I’m always by your side, no matter what happens.” Jaebeom smiled softly, giving Jinyoung the reassurance he needed. 

With his words, Jinyoung cried harder as more tears flowed down. Jaebeom pulled him into his embrace, holding onto him tightly, keeping his promise to never let Jinyoung go. At that moment, as Jinyoung held onto Jaebeom’s coat tightly, he thought that maybe, just maybe, Jaebeom would be the person he sees every day as they grow older. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, I appreciate every single comment there is, so feel free to comment! ^^


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